I don’t use Tumblr a lot.

Really I don’t. In times of old, which means… months ago, I’d be on much more frequently.

But what I’ve lost in quantity I’m hoping I’ve more than made up in quality.

More stuff to come soon. But for now, look at my latest contributions to the Human condition…

Tumblr condition… 

 Fuck it. It’s just pretentious bullshit. Read it, enlighten yourself and enjoy.

Here’s my comments on Breast Cancer Awareness month, a subject I intend to write about soon.

Here is my short story; ‘The Inglorious Duel’. 

More articles and content coming soon. I’m also hoping to try and obtain a camcorder to create some videosongs. ^.^

As always, ask me something! 

A Short Story

So I’ve just come back from Bulgaria, and I thought I should try to become much more creative in my life, have more outputs to allow myself to grow.  So enjoy my latest short story; ‘The Inglorious Duel’:

*

“So, how can I make it better?”

Too often was this said, and yet the meaning had never lost it’s flavour from being uttered from his mouth. His eyes stared into hers - when he could. As soon as eye contact was made, it was instantly broken with an off-gaze, possibly one of guilt, one of pain or one of  resignation. It was even considerable that it was all three, yet they had been to the verge many a time before, and never once had hope been decimated like this.

His hand trembled slightly while he held hers. A quick look of fear was casted sharply towards the defeated knight who had valiantly fought to capture her heart, to protect it, and who surely was about to lose it. It was met with the exact same look he had given her those years ago when they first met, but time had given its test and the judgement had been laid, despite every repute and excuse one man could give. Love surely fuelled the passion to keep on fighting, but the young maiden had given her all, and nothing was going to change that, not now. It was too late for repairs, the walls had begun to fall and like a tear in a piece of paper, everything was weakened that a slight movement could do much further damage.

It was excruciating, but so was every flutter in his heart, and despite the protests he felt about the uncertainty of the future, he couldn’t help but still feel perplexed by her. She was indeed a puzzle that he hadn’t solved, quite a feat since a split-second scan of a person was enough for him to understand everything about them, but this one gem had managed to squeak by nearly unnoticed, and this aurora of mystery binded his curiosity to her, and though it was being ripped away, it couldn’t stop the constant flashes of quick thoughts, all attempting, in vain, to understand everything he could defiantly before the increasing dead line crawled upon them.

Silence.

He had to answer the question himself, where there was naught that could be done to fix anything. What was done, was done; his denial becoming a mere symptom of a part of himself dying, one that had been a part of him for 2 years.

He knew that. He had been a close acquaintance of Death through his life, first meeting him on the eve of his tenth birthday, where he watched as his close aunt coughed and spluttered into a lifeless state. Over the course of the next three years, he witnessed his father become ever more weaker, denying the state of unfitness he was in, a proud man, until his father too passed away, his only grandparent -his grandmother- dying barely months after that, outliving all of her children; possibly the most brutal way to go. Yet it was his father’s spirit of undying devotion to a cause, the ability to hide any pain so that he could persevere, that was what had become the role model of the very moment he was stuck in now. Death’s cold hand was wrapping it’s boney little fingers around a chunk of his heart, waiting in anticipation for the girl’s unknowing approval. 

Silence.

Alone in that room, a world had begun to tumble, and whenever he could finally get to peer into those eyes, he could see the civilisation that had taken two years to build had not aged well. Its walls were battered and weather-beaten, the once proud and noble buildings, an envy to all that surveyed, had indeed crumbled. What was once the most desired achievements around had become a burden, no longer the bringer of fortune, but never once, did it ever cross his mind, that it would end like this. Unfaithfulness and a violent outpour of loud exchanges seemed the most common way of ending. The most valiant, one where he could actually fight a side and feel like there was a battle to be won.

This seemed almost civilised, one where neither had wronged the other. No battle was to be found here, only a state of confusion. He hated that. He didn’t enjoy that fact that she was essentially giving up not just on their relationship, but on him, in a time most crucial. A second of anger flooded his system, but deep down, the seeds of the inability to forgive had already been sowed, but surprisingly, not where it was expected. It was her own mind destroying the mental memories that laid on top of the mantelpiece, not his. She no longer saw him as the White Knight, but a Dark one; one where it had begun to fail in a realm where she could no longer help. One created out of a life of misery, and her rays of sunshine was becoming blocked by the clouds too often.

It was this, and the snowballing amount of factors beyond her control that meant she can no longer stay. Her averted gaze annoyed him, she knew that, but she could definently not look into those bewildered eyes, it hurt too much. Her thoughts raced with alien ideas whenever his arms were not there to comfort her, to defend her against them. So if she couldn’t be in his arms all the time, why be there at all?

And yet the two figures sank lower into each other, both seeking a reassurance of what had just transpired. The warmth of their bodies began to slide away as both realised that this was no beginning to a new chapter, but the end of a story. The short story of their romance. One that saw adventures, heroism and calamities. It had ended, not with a bang as had expected (and secretly desired by a warrior), but with an almost too peaceful passing. 

His hand shivered again. He gripped harder to stop it, but nothing he could do was unnoticeable. A look of surrender shot across to an unapologetic face.

Silence.

“So what now?”


A short breath signalled the death knell better than any church bell.


“We leave.” 

Cultural Education.

For those of you who actually follow me of all people on Twitter, I don’t know why since I tweet like once a week, you would know that I just finished watching Peter Shaffer’s epic play; Amadeus. 

Details a fictional rivalry between the famed composer, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and a composer who also lived during the latter half of the 18th century, Antonio Salieri. A great play detailing jealousy and envy, coming together to comment on the world of mediocrity.

If you have the chance, watch it. If you have three hours free, go on YouTube and find it.

Your IQ will go up 2 points if you do. Guaranteed by science. That I conducted.

In other news, Channel 4 has an interesting drama called ‘I Am Slave’ detailing the horrors and tragedies of the human trafficking industry in the UK. Shit still happens, so better buckle up and see it through the eyes of a female character who goes through the actual ordeal. 

I’m off Tumblr

Earlier than last night. Thankfully.

But if you feel like it, you can leave something in my ASK and I’ll get back to you. ;)

http://jawshey.tumblr.com/ask 

Magic Stars.

I feel eerily guilty when I eat these. 

They smile when I eat them.

People think I’m dedicated.

I always talk to new followers, and I make elaborate jokes or running stories.

In reality, I’m at the point where it’s 3AM in the morning and I’m in the limbo where I am asleep and I’m not asleep.

I’m awesome in that state.